Why Are Ye So Fearful?

Today during Relief Society we talked about trials and read Mark 4:40.  It says, "And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful?  How is it that ye have no faith?"  Followed by John 16:33 which says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

I am one of those people who is constantly worried about something.  When I watched Inside Out for the first time, I realized that fear is probably the character mostly in charge of my emotions, with some sass thrown in there from disgust of course ;)  It has always been something that I feel has held me back in life, especially when it comes to putting myself out there and sharing things about me with other people.

That is one of the many reasons I kept my Alopecia secret for so long.  I didn't want anyone to know that I was losing my hair, and I especially didn't want anyone to see it.  I was in a constant state of fear.

Writing that original blog post about my Alopecia took a lot of courage.  It took me weeks after I had written it to finally hit the publish button, and even longer after that to share it on social media.  I was proud of myself, but I realized it wasn't enough.

See, I kinda lied a little bit in that post.  When I talked about how grateful I was that I still had enough hair to cover up my bald spots, that wasn't true, because I don't.  I decided to write that because I was too scared to tell everyone that because of my Alopecia I have to wear a wig.

I didn't want anyone to know I wear a wig because I was afraid.  I was afraid what everyone was going to think of me.  I was afraid I was going to be made fun of.  I was afraid I wouldn't be loved and accepted by those around me.  I was afraid of telling boys about the wig because I don't want it to scare them away from dating me.  I was afraid to tell anyone because I was embarrassed and ashamed.

Today I realized that it is time for me to get rid of that fear because Heavenly Father knows me.  He knows my trials.  He knows what I am going through.  He knows why I am afraid.  He knows how to comfort me.  He knows how to help me grow.  He knows what I need.

So today, I am getting rid of one of my many fears.  I am putting my faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ because they know what is best for me and will guide and comfort me through whatever trials I have.  And someday, when I am resurrected, every single hair will be returned to my head and I will never have to worry about wearing a wig ever again.

 

(Bonus picture of a 2 year old trying on my wig because it's pretty much the cutest thing ever, minus the Utes logo of course)